Winning and Losing

Football season is almost over around here and next Saturday is my nephew's last game for this year. His mother, my sister, resisted football for several years. Too violent, she said. I don't want him to get hurt, she said. That's really funny because we grew up with four brothers, all of whom played football and were never hurt.

Our father was modestly proud of his high school's record for the three years that he played. Undefeated. Untied. Unscored upon. All the more impressive because it was a really small school. They didn't have some deep bench to draw from. The whole team was on the field for the whole game. Because football was so defining in my father's life, all of our brothers were required to play football. They played, played well, and survived. My brothers all grew into good, responsible men but I think they would be that way even without football.

So, back to my nephew. The boy who might get hurt is in his fourth year of organized football. Now, my pacifist sister who abhors violence is standing in the bleachers yelling "block 'em, baby, block 'em". Even I know enough that good blocking usually results in someone falling on the ground.

My sister says her son has learned a lot from football. Last year, when he was the youngest starter on the team, part of every play and the team won every game, it was easy to see what those lessons were.

• Listen to your coach.
• Go to practice.
• Work hard.
• Play your position.
• Follow the rules.
• Keep score.

Last year, that point of view got them to their league's championship. This year, my nephew is still following those rules but now the outcome is different; this year the team has won only two games. Well, I asked my sister, is he still learning anything this year?

What he's learning, she replied carefully, is to be more of a leader. He still doesn't realize how much one person can influence the rest of the team.

I pondered that. After all, in team sports one person doesn't win the game alone. In order to make a touchdown, the ball has to be snapped, passed, carried or punted. And 10 touchdowns are worthless if the other team isn't getting sacked, blocked or pushed back.

Sports are often used as a metaphor for life. But in life, things seldom end with a clear winner.

On the up side, we don't have to run laps.